Happy Ending (*that* kind of happy ending, as a matter of fact)

My wife is posting again....she thinks she's funny....

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We'll get back to bikes in a minute, but first, the back story…..

There are only a handful of times I can remember that I have sent my husband the "don't be mad" text. The text that says, in no uncertain terms, that I have done something, or more accurately bought something, that probably in hindsight wasn't a good "investment." Editors note: Since when are shoes NOT a good investment, thankyouverymuch.

I'll admit, I'm not a big shopper but when I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood. And this one time? I was in the mood.

I had spent the weekend with my sisters - which should have been a warning to my husband in and of itself. We had done the normal shopping, of course, but the real purpose of that particular day was my younger sisters upcoming wedding. I was to walk away with a Maid of Honor dress purchased for myself and a Flower Girl dress purchased for my daughter. By the end of the day and by the time those purchases had added up, I knew I was in big trouble. A dent that big in the checking account was surely going to be noticed by him, and fast. I blame the Flower Girl dress entirely.

So, I came up with a plan. A sure-fire way to make sure the topic of money and more importantly how much of it I had spent was a short-lived one. I got home from the shopping trip and snuck everything into the bedroom. I wasn't hiding my purchases, I was preparing. If my plan was to work, I needed to get it set-up. I needed to set the trap, bait my husband and wait.

I piled all of the receipts onto the center of the bed and next to the receipts, I piled my new treasures. I stood next to the bed and waited. And just as planned, when my husband finally walked into the bedroom he immediately zeroed in on the bed and the damage I had likely done. The look on his face was one of sheer terror, followed by "what in the hell did you do?!". 

Ex-cel-lent, I thought. *hands rubbing together mischievously* My plan was working.

I waited a beat, didn't say a word, reached down and yanked up my shirt - fully exposing the girls and rendering him speechless.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is how I spring a new, large, purchase onto my spouse.

Fast forward to this past weekend. My husband went out biking and as he always does he took pictures and video of his excursion. As usual, he posted some of those pictures to Instagram/Facebook/Twitter. Unlike unusual - as I was scrolling through those same pictures, I realized that I didn't recognize the bike. 

What? The? Hell?

Where'd the…..?

What'd he…..?

Are you kidding me?

He. bought. another. bike.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is how my husband springs a new, large, purchase onto his spouse.

Passive - Aggressive - Bullshittery

-----At least with my way, somebody is gettin' a happy ending.------